Friday, November 13, 2009

A Second Child?

I got lot many opinions on whether or not to have the second one.

“What??? Gone crazy? We are gonna suffer even for one child’s education and bringing up.. and thinking about another one? Grow up!” shouted some of friends and same aged relations.

“Your son will become a lonely child and he really needs a company… plan soon before its late..!!” said the oldies in the family.

“Investing 10 to 15 months of your job and income?” said some friends. “Be happy with what u have!!! ”

“Single children will develop behavioral problems. They should have another one to fight with and to play with so that they will know to face the world.” Oh! I was worried and began noticing my son… if he is showing any behavioral issues… and even when he jumped out of joy or screamed like the “George of the jungle”.. I wondered if this is a behavioral disorder!

Every family get together, I prepared some answers for both.

Now, whenever I have something exciting to share or met a person after a long time, or any old contact sent an invitation in Orkut, its my brother’s number that I dial first… ‘coz he knew all persons in my life “from birth.” He dint bother if it would hurt me if he said the truth that I looked bad in a dress or the way I behaved on an occasion was not appropriate… he would also say how much he admired for some other gesture or if the fish curry I made was the best he has ever had…. His comments were real and that’s for what we need siblings for… they are real… So I thought I will go for one now and I said I want a girl. Again came a number of opinions..

“What if its not a girl?” a boy and a boy is a bad sibling pair. They fight more than girls and it would be a mess and noisy at home. Boy siblings would have ego clashes even when they grow up!.... but girls make good friends when they grow up… elder sister and younger brother is good.. but most of the case, the sister outsmarts the boy… elder brother and younger sister would love and care each other!!!

All hypothetic!.. I have so many examples that goes against with all these assumptions… I moved on .. but I still want a girl! Not for any of those comments above. “then for what?” asked my Gynec. I need a girl for whom I can buy designer bindis, who would wear colorful hair bands, who has a lot variety of dresses, who can wear jewelleries, who can wear a pattupavadai… … for these boys, all you have is a denim or a khakhi! ..

“its for the same reasons, many here wish for a boy!” she said.

As it was not a planned pregnancy, I couldn’t check with any Chinese chart or any such things.. still I took all the “boy or girl” games in the web. I added all the sites which said “it’s a girl” to my favorites and others I skipped. Whenever someone predicted looking at my tummy, I said “thank you” with the widest grin if they said it’s a girl, and if someone said its gonna be a boy, I explained “no no I had a big tummy before as I am fat.. so predictions on the shape of my tummy may not be accurate..” and never talked to them then!!

Many hits in the web said if the fetal heart rate in the sonogram report is 139 or above, it’s a girl and if its less, it’s a boy. I jumped out of joy when the first trimester report read as 167 bpm. I asked the doc about it and she said she never heard about such a study and she said “your baby is hyperactive.. athanale than 167 beats per minute!” I discussed it with my husband.. later in the evening he showed me sites which proved it wrong.. “they do not have enough data.. since it is illegal.. they are just creating a confusion..” I told him.

The second scan also had higher rate… 176. now I confirmed it’s a girl. For the last trimester, my parents were with me.. and my mother came with me for the scan. I went pale when I received the report.. fetal heart rate equals 135! My mom couldn’t resist laughing…. She began informing all about it and I received phone calls from my cousins and friends to console me and to laugh at me..! whenever I had a pain or movement, my mom would ask “payyan othaikkirana?” and whenever they discuss with my son about the baby, they all began referring “avan..”

“Nisha.. you are now revived from your anesthesia, your baby is also healthy!” Said my anesthesiologist after the C-section… boy or girl? I asked. My gynec came to me and said, “Hey your theory seems to be correct.. I will check that from now on in my patients. It’s a girl as you wanted. Nishakku Nisha puyal annikku oru kuttippuyal poranthirukku..” (she was born on November 26th.. the day we were hit by Cyclone Nisha).

Sanjana... Sanju.. the cyclone kid turns one year on 26th of this month.


Gayatri said...

That is so nice...siggghhhhhhhh :)

Sranj said...

Thanks Buzzy!

Manoraj said...

“Your son will become a lonely child and he really needs a company… plan soon before its late..!!”

yes this is correct..